Vishnu H Prasad : An Accidental Civil Servant

CSM 2016: Yet another Prelims Result

This year’s (CSM 2016) preliminary result is out. I have cleared it yet another time, which makes it three in a row. What was different about the result this time? There are many things.

  1. Lesser Anxiety levels: I was not so anxious about the result like the previous times. May be it has to do with the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. Since I have made it into the IAAS, there is no gain for me as long as I don’t get the IAS or IFS (IPS, IRS have lesser promotion prospects compared to IAAS and hence I don’t consider them an upgrade over my present position. The perks they have are different, which I will elaborate in some other post)
  2. Knew the outcome: I knew that I had done well in the prelims and hence did not have to look at the result. This was the case ( that I did well) the previous two times also. However, despite knowing that I did well, I was very worried whether I will make it or not. I used to unnecessarily sweat whether the cut off would go sky high or whether I marked the OMR incorrectly. This time I was as chill as I could be.
  3. Adrenaline Rush: No lub-dub while waiting for the UPSC site to load:- There was a momentary adrenaline rush, but not as sustained or long as previous years. When the site did not load, I simply closed the tab and went over to other things. It was only when someone sent me the pdf over whatsapp that I checked the result.
  4. Attitude of family and friends: Earlier, my mom used to be relieved when I clear the prelims. This time, even though she was happy, her voice was not that of relief, but of self assertion of something she knew. So the news did not make as much impact as it used to. The same was the case for everyone else in the family. One of my friends even said this:

    Clearing prelims must now be a walk in the park for you now.

I am not trying to sound zen or pompous about the exam. I know that it is a very difficult examination and it requires due diligence to clear it. It is just that, in the years I have prepared for this examination, I have gone through all kind of highs and lows that it has helped me evolve as a person. Life is too short to be judged by a single examination and whether you make it or not in this examination is no indicator of your success in life. Like every other thing in life, some dreams, you will achieve and some things would just remain unfulfilled. So whatever way the prelims result has gone for you remember this

“The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what’s in between
― Norton Juster

It is the journey that matters, not the destination.

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